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| Quote | Rate | |
| All successful newspapers are ceaselessly querulous and bellicose. They never defend anyone or anything if they can help it; if the job is forced upon them, they tackle it by denouncing someone or something else. | [▲] | [▼] |
| The essence of a self-reliant and autonomous culture is an unshakable egoism. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Love: the delusion that one woman differs from another. | [▲] | [▼] |
| The basic fact about human existence is not that it is a tragedy, but that it is a bore. It is not so much a war as an endless standing in line. | [▲] | [▼] |
| And what is a good citizen? Simply one who never says, does or thinks anything that is unusual. Schools are maintained in order to bring this uniformity up to the highest possible point. A school is a hopper into which children are heaved while they are still young and tender; there in they are pressed into certain standard shapes and covered from head to heels with official rubber stamps. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Neither sex, without some fertilization of the complimentary characters of the other, is capable of the highest reaches of human endeavor. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Only a government that is rich and safe can afford to be a democracy, for democracy is the most expensive and nefarious kind of government ever heard of on earth. | [▲] | [▼] |
| When a man laughs at his troubles he loses a great many friends. They never forgive the loss of their prerogative. | [▲] | [▼] |
| If, after I depart this vale, you ever remember me and have thought to please my ghost, forgive some sinner and wink your eye at some homely gi | [▲] | [▼] |
| A celebrity is one who is known to many persons he is glad he doesn't know. | [▲] | [▼] |
| It is evident that skepticism, while it makes no actual change in man, always makes him feel better. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Men become civilized, not in proportion to their willingness to believe, but in proportion to their readiness to doubt. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Of all escape mechanisms, death is the most efficient. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Unquestionably, there is progress. The average American now pays out twice as much in taxes as he formerly got in wages. | [▲] | [▼] |
| No one ever went broke underestimating the taste of the American public. | [▲] | [▼] |
| I've made it a rule never to drink by daylight and never to refuse a drink after dark. | [▲] | [▼] |
| The older I grow the more I distrust the familiar doctrine that age brings wisdo | [▲] | [▼] |