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| Quote | Rate | |
| Marriage: a community consisting of a master, a mistress, and two slaves - making in all two. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Litigation: A machine which you go into as a pig and come out of as a sausage. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Immortality: A toy which people cry for, And on their knees apply for, Dispute, contend and lie for, And if allowed Would be right proud Eternally to die for. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Destiny: A tyrant's authority for crime and a fool's excuse for failure. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Conservative: A statesman who is enamored of existing evils, as distinguished from the liberal, who wishes to replace them with others. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Corporation: an ingenious device for obtaining individual profit without individual responsibility. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Bore. A person who talks when you wish him to listen. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Beauty, n: the power by which a woman charms a lover and terrifies a husband. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Age that period of life in which we compound for the vices that we still cherish by reviling those that we no longer have the enterprise to commit. | [▲] | [▼] |
| Ability is commonly found to consist mainly in a high degree of solemnity. | [▲] | [▼] |